The festivities seem to make a mockery of me. I turn away from all of the “joy to the world” because my world is crashing to the ground. This heaviness is like a cold wet wool coat that makes me shiver and I cannot take it off. My heart feels every beat to the music but I cannot find a high note. I’m drowning in depression and I can’t find the surface to gasp for breath. I’m dead, my body just doesn’t know it yet.
Been there? Are you there now? I was too. It’s a terrible place to be. Take these tips to heart and lift up your head, your redemption draws near.
Grieving is movement. Let it wash over you. Don’t stop the flow, let it wash over you and go. Visualize it and cry with this flow as you watch it flow beyond your feet and away from you.
Feel your skin, you are alive and this is an amazing thing. Where there is life, there is always hope. Wrap your arms around your own soul and hold on.
Don’t diminish your pain, honor it. Give it recognition and acknowledgment by taking care of yourself. You are in pain because of loss and the tearing of the soul. Give it it’s due time, connect with your pain intellectually by writing it out to engage your brain along with your heart. There is good reason for your pain. Help your body deal with it.
Ask God to hold you. Nothing more, just hold you. Don’t think he requires anything from you but to be his child. Curl up in His lap and allow yourself to be still and know that He is God and this is not going to consume you.
Talk to someone. Let them share your burden, it is too big to bear alone. Find a safe person and make yourself vulnerable. Amazingly, it can make you feel stronger by being vulnerable and articulating your heart.
Look up. Literally look up. It is a big world, you feel as if you are suffocating in the small vision in your pain. Feel the different perspective, tomorrow will come. You are not alone right now. The Spirit of God draws near to the brokenhearted.
“You are my comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me.” Jeremiah 8:18
El Roi- The God who sees me.
“El Roi, You know where I have come from and where I am going. You know the things that frighten me. You guide me in the midst of my troubles. You comfort me with your promises and your love. “ Genesis 16:8-10
The festivities are there to remind you there is still hope and joy in the world, be compassionate with yourself and let it in. The hurting will pass, just like the holidays. Look at the music, lights and Christmas as the beauty of hope because pain and darkness is why the Savior came.